Sometimes They Are Both

When we talk about extracurricular activities, it is easy to fall into two extremes: thinking that the more activities our children do, the better, or assuming that a full schedule always means they are overloaded. The reality is usually more complex.

Organized activities can offer opportunities for learning, physical activity, creativity, social relationships, and independence. Research has found positive effects, especially in sports participation, although the results depend on the type of activity and the context in which it takes place (Boelens et al., 2022).

But extracurricular activities can also serve another purpose that we talk about less: they help many families manage work and family schedules. School and work hours do not always fit together, and in many homes, football, dance, English classes, music, or afternoon activities are not only educational choices. They are also part of how a family organizes everyday life.

Recognizing this matters because it helps us avoid turning parenting into another source of guilt. Not every busy schedule is the result of pressure or overachievement, and not every family has the same options when organizing their afternoons. The relationship between work and family life can also affect children’s wellbeing, so it is important to understand the family context before judging how a week is structured (Bilodeau et al., 2023).

It is not only about counting activities

Having two, three, or more extracurricular activities does not tell us, by itself, how a child is doing. In fact, research on the so-called “over-scheduling hypothesis” does not support the simple idea that taking part in many organized activities is always harmful. In adolescents, greater participation has also been linked to some positive later outcomes (Mahoney & Vest, 2012).

So instead of only asking “How many activities are too many?”, it may be more useful to look at how our children are experiencing their week.

Do they still enjoy their activities? Are they constantly tired? Do they feel like they are always rushing from one commitment to the next? Is there still time to play, stay at home, spend time with family, or simply do nothing?

One tired afternoon or one day when they do not want to go to an activity does not necessarily mean there is a problem. What matters more is the overall pattern and whether certain signs continue over time: frequent irritability, ongoing rejection of activities they used to enjoy, a constant feeling of rushing, or less and less interest in playing, resting, or spending time together.

There also needs to be time without goals

Structured activities can be very valuable, but not all of our children’s time needs to be organized or have a specific purpose.

Play and less structured time are also important for development. They give children opportunities to explore, make decisions, connect with others, use their creativity, and practice self-regulation. The American Academy of Pediatrics highlights the value of play for social, emotional, cognitive, and executive functioning development (Yogman et al., 2018).

This does not mean we now need to add a new task called “free time” to the schedule. In fact, it means the opposite: allowing some moments when there is nothing to achieve, improve, or arrive on time for.

We can ask ourselves: Which activity does my child really enjoy? Which one has become mainly an obligation? Is there any time during the week with no demands? Is there space to choose what to do, get bored, play, or simply spend time together?

And reviewing the family schedule does not necessarily mean removing all extracurricular activities. It may mean reducing one activity, changing a timetable, protecting one afternoon, or simply paying more attention to how our child is experiencing the pace of the week.

We do not need perfect weeks, but manageable ones

Work-life balance is also part of family life. Very often, it means making decisions within real possibilities, not ideal conditions.

So perhaps the goal is not to create a perfectly balanced week between school, sport, languages, play, rest, and family time.

It can be something more realistic: building weeks that feel manageable.

Weeks where there is room for responsibilities and for the needs of adults, but also for the needs of children. Weeks where extracurricular activities can offer valuable experiences without taking up all the available space. And, whenever possible, weeks with some time to stop, play, rest, and be together without having to do anything else.

References

Bilodeau, J., Mikutra-Cencora, M., & Quesnel-Vallée, A. (2023). Work-family interface and children's mental health: A systematic review. Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health, 17, 45. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13034-023-00596-w

Boelens, M., Smit, M. S., Raat, H., Bramer, W. M., & Jansen, W. (2022). Impact of organized activities on mental health in children and adolescents: An umbrella review. Preventive Medicine Reports, 25, 101687. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pmedr.2021.101687

Mahoney, J. L., & Vest, A. E. (2012). The over-scheduling hypothesis revisited: Intensity of organized activity participation during adolescence and young adult outcomes. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 22(3), 409–418. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2012.00808.x

Yogman, M., Garner, A., Hutchinson, J., Hirsh-Pasek, K., & Golinkoff, R. M. (2018). The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children. Pediatrics, 142(3), e20182058. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2018-2058